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COPING WITH TWO OR MORE
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Some helpful tips from parents on how to cope with two or more children, eg preparing their child/ren for the birth, jealously issues.
Well I guess with me it was lot easier than some. Jade was too small to feel any jealousy however we did prep her up for a baby in the house. She knew what baby was and we spent time playing with a plastic baby, looking after it. We also spent time with friends who had newborns, so she was familiar with what an actual newborn is. At her age we taught her how to be gentle, how to pat nicely and made her part of the routines, like bring nappy to mummy etc. She watched every move I made with Deren and knew what was going to happen next.
E.g. when Deren woke up and it was time for feeding she would bring mummy's breastfeeding pillow and give it to me. Praising is huge for toddlers and everytime we did so she was gleaming!
Now, they are best of friends and look forward to the other waking up so they can play. We taught them how to play together and enjoy each others company, it's such a relief.
Well before Chris's arrival we made sure that we had moved Jack into his 'big boy bed'. We made a big song and dance about buying the bed and the cover etc. Jack also enjoyed getting out the toolbox to put the cot away ready for the new baby.
As Jack was sure that he was getting a new puppy and not infact a brother we had a lot of ground work to cover. It really helped that a close friend had a big tummy too and that he got to meet and play with Sam before his baby came.
I also made lots of books about Jack as a baby so that he learned what babies did (they were short books!!) we spent hours reading them before Chris's arrival and once
Chris came he got out the books and showed me the pictures of Jack having a bath when I was bathing Chirs etc. The more that you include them the more important they feel I suppose.
- go to the shops together and buy the baby a gift from the eldest
- buy a present for the eldest from the baby (it gets rather expensive I suppose!!)
- gently suggest that friends buy something small for the eldest so they get a gift too
- spend oodles of time with the eldest so they don't feel left out
- when the eldest comes to the hospital to visit make sure you aren't holding the baby so they get lots of cuddles etc
- when in hospital order the chocolate milk for breakfast and save it for when the eldest comes in to visit (Jack was greatly impressed)
When should I tell my firstborn that I'm pregnant again?
If transporting a baby around town - large buggies - or Mountain buggies are not really the best way to go - they are hard, if not impossible to get on buses and often won't maneuver through shop aisles well. I used a lighter weight - smaller pram (also less expensive) in which my babies could lie flat - or took them in a front pack or predominately a sling.
When they are slightly older - i.e. can sit up - those "Baby Seats" - that you wear around your waist - are brilliant for getting out and about.
Everyone wants to come see the new baby and it is hard for tired new parents to say "No".
Messages via email, answer phone or even a note on the front door can help. eg
- If you wish to visit us in Hospital prefer this to be ...(day and time)
- If you wish to visit us at home please wait... (1-3 weeks)
- Please ring before you come in case we need to catch up on sleep.
- All food very much appreciated.
- The midwife said to say if you have a cold or flue could you wait till better. This is important to sometimes state if you have a premature or unwell baby. Babies immune systems are immature.
Weat bags for labouring woman are great esp for long labours with backache. Also good to put in cots to keep it warm while baby is up feeding at night esp if they don't settle quickly, ie get the baby up put the heat pack in the cot then remove it before putting baby back. I know I go to sleep quicker if my bed is warm at night, and means babies don't use up glucose stores trying to increase their temperature which is really important if baby is premature.
Most Hospitals won't allow hot water bottles for labouring woman in case they burn themselves but then Midwives end up pouring warm water onto a towel and putting it in a sealed bag then putting this on the woman's back...which doesn't stay warm for long. Put 1/4 cup of water in microwave at same time as you warm the weat bag to produce steam this stops the weat from going on fire and check temperature is not too hot before using.
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